Today, she told me that she's tired. She needed someone beside her all the time. Just like I thought. Long before I was with her, I made that deduction. She was able to surprise me through those times. Its not exactly the longest time, but a year and 4 months and 3 days into our relationship, she just cannot hang on. I want to give her a good life. It's just not right to let a woman bear so much burden on her shoulders. I really want our love to sparkle like before. She was contented with emails, then msn, then skype etc etc. But now, I really have no way of improving our relationship. I wanted to go for dates every weekend too at least. I wanted to be able to fetch her after work even if it meant that I have to wait for her for 8 hours. See her to work everyday. But there's a difference between couldn't wouldn't and didn't. For me I just couldn't.
Maybe its best to let her move on. Should I cheer her to look for a new guy? I think I could, but I can't even say it out. I want her to be showered in happiness, not in sorrows.... I can't do much. I just can't. Plain useless. Don't even know if I have a future. I wanted to just end this vicious cycle. I do not want her to go through the kind of pains that I have to go through. If possible, she could marry another guy. If that guy don't want her, she could still look for me. I dun mind. I really dun care. I really love her and it just plain hell to see her through this alone. I could see no future with anyone else. Maybe I am just in denial. But really, until I see her happy, until I see her really smile, smile the widest grin, then I would be happy. It's really impossible with me right here right now, but I hope, and pray and wished that it would come true one day. I am waiting for that day. But if she's unwilling, and couldn't, then I would let her go.
Darling, You're free. Me? I am madly in love with you, I threw the keys to my heart away. Loving you to me has been the best and worst experience in my life. I do not think I can do it again with anyone else, cos the scar it left on me is really too deep.
Remember that I said "Let's break up" the last time? My purpose of doing that was really just plainly wanted to let you go, so you could be free and look for someone who could really fill in the gap I couldn't fill. But what you said to me that night really moved me. "It's either you or no one else". You really are giving me lots of stress on that 1 sentence you said. I really hope you would give someone else a chance so that I wouldn't be in this much pain and agony. Don't worry, I'll nv cheat on you. a promise is a promise. My arms would be wide open to receive you back any day, I understand your pain. But to me, the pain of you seeing someone else and is happy to me is really far too minor than the pain of seeing you unhappy because of me. 你的幸福最重要.
