Today, i found out that there's more version to heartbreak..... my usual heartbreak was a crack, heavier ones are just broken to 2 or more pieces.... the worst I had to do was glued them up with her nice words, fill the crack with her nice gestures and my heart would be right back up.... But now, i know that heartbreaks could be worst than that, it just feel like it kept being pounded until it would turn into dust. She hasn't reply my mail since morning. She told me that we're both selfish and the blaming game doesn't do anyone any good.
Before her, life's well for both of us, maybe not that sweet, maybe her life was a mess, but, we get on fine without each other... Me in Thailand, She In Singapore. Relationship started and flourishes when we're far apart. But why can't we settle down somewhere? It's a problem settling down where both of us would be happy... I dun understand....
In the 1st place, why did she want to be with me when she knew that i can't go back. I knew this and i told her about it long before we're together. Did she forget?
If only everything had begun 1 - 2 year sooner.... if only we had been so deeply in love then, before my school starts to go anywhere. I wouldn't even twitch if she ask me to go back and study. I would request my parents and everything would be so much easier.... but now, how could i tell my parents that i dun wan to study in thailand now? after all the money they spent on me, and my school fees, all the hope they had for me?
Timing just not good......
She's still not replying my email..... she tells me the most heartbreaking stuffs, and then disappear..... Maybe she's busy hanging out with her new bf....... or guy fren... i dunno... maybe i thinking too much... but when you're going crazy, ur mind runs wild.... really wild...
Lost appetite...
