Couldn't sleep. Thinking of what I should do. Couldn't stop crying. She said it's not my fault, yet I am punished for it. I felt like she didn't really want to talk. I also felt like I wasn't patient enough when I talk to her. I wanted to end it fast too because it felt like she wanted to leave. I didn't want it to last too long, but all I could hear her say was that she couldn't care less. I wanted to hear her explain, I wanted to end this knowing that she still had feelings for me, and it was something that had prevented us from being together. I wanted to know the source of our problems. I still don't know the answer. She didn't want to say, and I was getting short on patient.
I think my parents are her biggest fear. I am not a hundred percent sure. But if you love me, you should learn to love my parents. I love her parents like my own. I love Kemp like my own kid. I have plenty of nephews and nieces, and I treat none of them as good as Kemp.
Rather than saying she has no time and too tired for me, I would just want her to spend just a fraction of her time for dramas and shopping on me... Is that really a lot?
My only regret is her family, who I had learned to love them like my own. I cannot just leave them quietly and secretly get out of their life. They treated me kind, especially her dad and mom, I would feel bad if I were to suddenly disappear from their life. Although they dun say it, I know they have expectation of me. Sorry Uncle, Sorry Auntie, I can never be filial to you again. I do not want to see your daughter again. I cannot stand the pain anymore.
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I went to her home, planning to say my last goodbye. Apologize for unable to make their daughter love me, and for not being able to visit them again in future. Also for going to miss lunch with them on Saturday, tell them I can't face her no more.
Uncle decided to interfere, even though I advised him not to. He was persistent. I couldn't convince him to not confront her. I decided to just take Uncle's advice. Reason is I wanted to keep this relationship at all cost. Anw, Uncle would be my last chance, my last hope......
