I met her. A decision which I think was wrong. It doesn't feel like she wanted to talk. It felt more like she wanted to get everything over with. I am disappointed.....
It's officially over. She wanted me to agree to her terms, yet don't want me to agree to her terms. After wasting a 22 bucks cab fare and a $6 MacDonald's meal, we only talked for less than an hour. All the time telling me she couldn't care less. She don't care anymore. I feel like I could just talk to the voice recorder and it would have felt the same.
So angry. So sad. So upset. Her parents are nice folks. Wonder why got such daughter. She had ill treated me for so long. Yet dun feel apologetic. Felt like she used knife to stab me once and again once and again. Stab it, and treat it, and stab the same place, and treat it again. The cycle is ever repeating. Now she stab me one last time. I hated her to the core.
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I saw her tears when she said she feel very stressed. She couldn't face my parents even if I agreed to her terms.... She need not face them. She only have to spend time with them. Try treating them nicer. Just like the way I tried to treat her parents nice. My parents may not be nice, but we could try to work it out together.
Love is not about sacrifices..... Although at times, they may seem necessary.... But I feel it's not the number of sacrifices one made. It's more of willingness to sacrifice.....
I gave my all in this relationship. I have lost friends in the process. I had lied to people for her in the process. I had changed my stands and believes on things when I am with her. Not saying that I regret them right now, but I think she may never understand how it felt. To meet friends and act like you know nuts about many things around Singapore. Having to cover up what's been accidentally said to a friend about things I saw during the last few trips I came to Singapore. Having to differentiate between "The last time I came to Singapore I saw...." and "The last time I came to Singapore and saw you and I saw..."
She goes to Thailand, she's my everything. I have to make arrangements for her so she could buy her stuffs and not have to spend too much time alone. I come to Singapore, although she didn't say that I have to, but I felt that I wanted to spend all my time with her. Ended up feeling bored most days. Hanging around nowhere just so I can eat lunch with her, and meet her after work. I am happy doing them. Just not happy that she don't appreciate them.
I could come every 2-3 months to Singapore now that I have graduated. We would have seen each other more. Yet she chose to give up what could have been a better, happier relationship.
