Today score: fatigue 1-0 Alan.
Couldn't overcome my fatigue.... Dunno is fall asleep or fainted.... I lost consciousness when I sat down...
She told me a story about woman on mrt.... Not sure what she's trying to tell me.... I know we don't communicate... But even though we don't communicate, but I know what she like, and what she don't like.... Maybe she don't know about me is because I dun voice out? Or is it because everytime I voice out, is when we're quarrelling, and she couldn't hear a thing I say.....
Y do I have to spell everything out? Does spelling everything out means she would treat me better? Or would it just be that she do enough just for me because she's other priorities?
Its weird that she has done so many things for her family without even them telling her what to do... Y can't she do the same for me? I know she can do that for her family is because of love.... So y not me if she do love me? Y is it when it comes to me, she becomes too busy....
I used to get those a lot in the initial phase of our relationship, but where has those gone to?
Asking me what I want, feels like her telling me: "pls dun waste my time... Tell me what u want, I will give u what u want, so I can go back and do whatever other things that isn't u...."
Its pretty sad that her way of showing me love is actually comes from a book.... Its like an instruction manual.... Its not what u want to do, but rather what u r told to do.....
Nonetheless, I want to thank her... I enjoyed the conversation last night.... Although it had made me unable to withstand the whole working day. I really enjoyed it.... Can feel her interest in what I do....
Its hard for me to say it last night.... Those words that I had never spoken for a long time... "so how are u recently?".... I'm glad I said it.... It starts a conversation.... It takes a lot of courage to say, but the gamble paid off....
Sent from my BlackBerry® by dtac.
