All my life, my life had been decided by other people's decision. Most of the time I said yes to everyone. I seldom said no because I do not want to do something, but rather no, when I think i have something else more important. I had always thought that by saying yes, I would enjoy my own life in a different way. Let the wave decide where I go, and let the fate decide where I ends up. It did not bring me to where I like, nor does it brings me to the happiness I thought it would bring.
Although being easy going, has made me found so many things, so many activities, so many friends... My life was seldom down. I seldom see what I want, but rather what other people want, and try to benefit from what other people want at the same time. Being easy going, had brought me lots of benefits. People do like me for who I am, for being always there. They find it hard to reject me when I have a request for them. Although I know that people are nice to me, I wouldn't try to take advantage of them.
Being easy going, although good, doesn't mean that people around you will treat you back the same. I treat her good, I tried really hard to treat her well. Tried to balance everything, makes everyone happy. But she just doesn't do the same for me.... I need to say more of what I want...... I need to find out what I want.... Not what would be good for other people.... I need to do what I want.... more....
I had never before set a life goal. I had never before had any plans about what to do in the future. From now on, I need to look for a goal. Not just Money, but what I would love to get my money out of. Something of my interest, of inspiration, something I have passion for. I need to look out more. Go out and see the world. Not the money that's involved, but the things that are interesting.
