21 March 2011

Lost...

Dunno what to do.... Heart feeling numb and cold.... Wanted to stay out.... Wanted to stay away.... Dun dare ask her anything, even though I keep checking her blog, and wanted to ask her abt her problems. Wants to share her problems with her. But scared I cannot answer her promptly or correctly. Keep taking out my BB in hope that she would complain to me.... Instead of just keeping it inside her.

She's really paranoid abt that boy's future. But looking at ah boy, I find him creative and his logic good. Even if he have bad memory, doesn't mean he can't study. I have bad memory myself.... He would be alright as long as he can find an interest in study. The best trait he has is that he dun like to lose. So I'm sure he'll do fine.

Her mom's diabetes is currently mild. If she dun mind, she could ask her mom to try the health supplement. There's nothing to lose in trying, since her mom can't control her food intake, and reluctant to exercise. The supplement is only 900 baht per 60 capsules.

Dun understand why she's so paranoid over such problems. "Que serra serra". There are ppl worst off than her, and she kept using death as a way out. I usually despise ppl who are like her. But its her, I cannot do anything abt it.

Angry over every little thing. Make me feel like a lousy boyfriend. Make me feel like I'm not good enough for her. Make me scared to give her suggestions. Make me feel rather useless. Really dunno what to do. Feeling super lost.

有什么事不能解决?万事的解决方法出于肯不肯接受想法、方法、与改变观念。要自己控制问题,不是让问题控制自己。

Yes. Its another suggestion. She can heed it, or just beat it off and say its not useful. Maybe she need someone useful around her. Not just one who can only talk. My answer to her will always be "do it if it will make you happy". Just like all the time she ask me of she should do anything.

I am not lying when I said I want her to be happy. But of its really beyond my capability, then there's nothing I can do. I tried everything, everyway, and every chances I have. I am limited by method due to my inability to fly as and when I want to her. I would fly to her to give her a hug if I could. But right now, I can't.

I'm out of ideas le. Feeling lost. 如果有必要,如果没办法让她幸福,如果她找到了比我更能配她度过难关的人,就是我该放手的时候。不想让她过的这么辛苦。不能随传随到的感觉让我觉得很不负男友的责任。很难过。她应该得到更好的。

---一个只会有福同享,有难不在的男友---
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