She dun wan to talk to me. SHE JUS DUN WAN TO TALK TO ME!!! 1st she dun want me to see her photos. Now she dun want talk to me. I am trying my very best not to upset her. But I think I am becoming Tom Cruise Mission Impossible 5 le. It's just so hard!!!
She asked me to study at school until 8. I was reluctant, but I really need to study too. Reluctant because I am afraid I will be back home late. Then my worst fear happened. 1) Those free riders wanted to tag along home. After I told them that I am not going home, told them I'd study until 8, they were slightly disappointed, but then they decided to study too. Wait. Like things can't get any worse. It has to rain the heaviest of all rains i had seen in my lifetime.
I felt the rain when I was in the library, but i thought nothing of it. Just inform her that its raining. left library at 8. The rain looked kinda better. My knee was hurting. Has been putting up with it for the whole day. Walking in limps. The rain was not that heavy when i got down from the library. Lucky me. Thought I could run to the car. Then the rain suddenly got heavier. 1 of my free rider had an umbrella with him. So he offered to let me used the umbrella. Didn't help much. I was still wet. But better.
Drove home and saw the heaviest of thunderstorm in my life. I couldn't see the road, but I just keep the wheels straight. Drive along. Speed up whenever possible. Was reaching 80 at a time. A large puddle of water slowed the car down. Lucky I was holding the steering wheel tight, else I think the car might just flip should the wheel turn.
Sent my friend home le. Called her, and she was upset. Apparently she see herself as a sparetyre. Like I have said before, if she's a spare tyre, I dunno what am I. I think I'd be lucky if she consider me as rubbish. Maybe I am just a piece of shit. she can flush down anytime she want. After trying so hard to come home, and so eager to call her, she had to said those lousy words to me. "I dun feel like talking". Guess what? I dun feel like talking now too. I will never talk to u again. I will try my best to! Since you dun value the things I do, but like to dig into the situations I already tried to avoid, tried everything I could le, just unavoidable. You on the other hand, has only yourself to control. Hate it when I put in so much effort, go through so much pain, just to stupidly let her get upset with me... I had it this time. I even had dinner so late becos of her. I really couldn't stand my hunger, hence stop to eat. I wanted to come home and eat instant noodle de... But I was too hungry....
Did she even bother? did she even care what I had to go through just so I could reach home? Did I say correctly that she only care about me when she's in good mood? I can die for all she care when she's angry. I should have died on my way back. Shouldn't have listened to her rubbish. Shouldn't have stayed back to study.
Should be studying now... damn no mood..... Dun feel loved.... dun feel wanted..... All she ever cared about was her own feeling. No matter how much I do is just not good if she feel unhappy about 1 thing I did. I dun even have to do it. Anyone else that had caused me to come into a situation that can make her upset. I do a million things also not good enough.
Omos told her abt this blog when I was angry. Why do I want to write this? I want to remember our happy moments. I want her to see this blog and smile while she read it. But I guess, I am not a saint. I can't do things her way.
