I kept my promise. I did not play FB today, nor watch video on Youtube today. I tot it'd be difficult. But it's not. I could do it for her.
Today's topic in Human resource, is on love. I normally would participate in his class, but not today. I just dun think I am good enough to represent anything. Feel like I am worthless in contributing to this subject. I am a failure at this topic. Dunno what I do right and what I do wrong. Am I satisfied with my love life? I want to say that I am. But something deep inside me is telling me otherwise. Still the question. Can you be in a relationship and not feel the love? the concern? the conversation? the touch? the fondling? You don't even see each other's face anymore. I know for long distance relationship, some things are exception. But at least keep things that are possible to maintain. Maintain them if not better them. Not make them worse.... I wonder if my status today is we're in the same country, will her attitude be of any different? Would this still be considered a relationship? I dunno. Feel like she's thinking that I must understand her that we're distanced. That's why she's behaving this way. But I think it should be the opposite.
Felt even worst after class when doing project with another teammate. His GF called him. She's on her way home. I looked at the time. It was about 5.45pm..... she should be on her way home too. But I dun get it. Make me feel so lonely. So jealous of their relationship. They are able to see each other frequently. And she still call him to ask about him. No need for him to call. I always say that it takes 2 to clap. And I am trying very hard to flap my palm towards her palm. I can only do this much. =(
Why is it that the more intimate our relationship becomes, the more quarrel, then the lesser conversation? Can't we fall deeper in love? Read back my emails i sent to her back then. I laughed. I was funny back then. I dun find myself funny now. =(
