She called me in the morning.. But I wasn't able to answer it... I had to have a stomachache when she called... Super disappointed.... I was 5 mins late... I called back and I couldn't get through anymore.... Angry with myself.... For being so stupid.. Should have waited 1 or 2 mins more.... But also sad... That she's going away for 4 days with no phone calls... And she only want to talk to me for 10 mins.... The only consolation I had was her mail to me.... It was short, right to the point.....
Wondering how she is right now? Cold? What did she eat? How was her bus ride? What did she do on the bus? Etc etc. But I just dunno how to get to her.... I dun mind the call... But my concern is she'd be charged too.....
Sometime I just can't help and suspect her.... Which I really dun want to... But being the analytical person I am, made me very suspicious of her... She had dinner with a male friend alone... When I said something abt it, instead of assuring me, she just scold me... Feel really sad.... It's just like trying to avoid the topic.... If I think negatively, it could b that the has something to hide.... But of course it could be plain frustration and irritated.... And I dunno... And the question why kept popping in my head... Frustrated.... And why the hell is she willing to wait almost an hour just for a dinner.... She lost her temple waiting for me to wash car once... The car was really dirty... Yes... My situation is wash car... His situation is work... But still, it's the 1st time I saw her not getting upset waiting for anything... And she was hungry..... Really full of questions in my head.... The best part is she'd rather wait alone than having me wait with her on the phone..... Seems just like she dun need me.... Feel so lost... Feel so confused...
Didn't want to post this cos I know she'll read this... But I really cannot stand anymore... I need to complain and let it out somewhere.... Hope she understand and not quarrel with me over this.....
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