If you do come back and see this......
Sorry, I wasn't able to give you a good last reply..... As promised, I won't disturb you no more.....
Our love relationship was a funny one.... You started loving me unconditionally, then become doubtful whether you love me by the end of the relationship.... For me, I started off doubting that I love you.... I wasn't sure whether I would be good enough for you.... I doubt my own capability to provide for you.... In actual fact, I think I just didn't know how to love... and was learning to love.... My love for you grew by the day... I didn't know since when that you had become so indispensable in my life..... It ended up in a way where I ended up loving you unconditionally..... I believe that I'd die for you at your command.... I just couldn't face the fact that you can't love me no more..... It hurts too much to be just fren.... A fren who would not visit me..... A fren who I couldn't resist myself from loving..... A fren who in the end, would just avoid me, because I couldn't resist her......
Nonetheless, I thank you for those wonderful memories we had.... I thank you, for letting me leave a world where I could find no happiness.... I thank you, for all the love you had for me......
Learning to love someone... has been a very slow and painful journey for me.... But it's all worth it.... Now I know what it feels like to feel that you can give someone your everything..... A feeling I never had before.... I doubt I would have this feeling again in the near future or would I be able to have this feeling ever again..... It could be an eternity before I might even find the courage to love another woman this much.... you'd probably be the first, and my last one to gain this much affection from me....
I wished and wished that I have the power to time travel.... I would go back and teach myself to treasure you.... I would go back and tell myself how to love you... I would remind myself to show you affection, reply to all your messages.... I would remind myself to avoid doing things you didn't like me to do.... But its all too fictitious and nonsensical....
No matter what, I pray you have laughter everyday..... No more tears in the future..... Just remember that nothing in this world is permanent.... No one will live forever.... whatever happens to one person, is fated.... most importantly, is that he or she had lived in this world..... Don't let them leave with regrets.... No one is going to live forever... no matter how long you try to preserve them from getting sick.....
You are right... time is probably the best healer.... Maybe we'll laugh together at our memory sometime in future.... who knows... in maybe 10 years or 20 years down the road......
