Avoiding me doesn't tell me you love me.... It's not just the incidents in Singapore.... You've been avoiding me since a long time ago.... even now..... even though you wanted to be just fren...
Having no courage to face me? So you would rather lie to me? Y can't you just accept me as a form of apology for all the hurt you do to me... You cause me this hurt.... you can undo them.... but you chose to hurt me further.....
I do not hate you..... I know you aren't the kind of woman who does things for no good reasons..... I just want you to understand that I'm willing to go the depth with you..... If there's one thing I hate about you, is your inability to decide for yourself..... You had everything that I wanted to give you.... Yet you chose to turn me away......
I do however hate myself very much.... I hate myself for being this weak.... for being such a loser... I cannot move on.... I really couldn't.... I had naked women dance on my laps so many time... but I do not feel a thing.... I have no desire for anyone else but you..... I can tell you they were really pretty... But I just don't feel for them.... No feeling at all.... I beginning to suspect of my sexual preference now.....
Maybe the feeling is just temporary..... but it's really getting on my nerves.... I am really wanting to go further into that dark side, so as to forget you, or to check my own preference...... please keep me sane.... don't let me go crazy.....
I do not know..... what my future would be.... But most likely, I would probably be forced to get married... either by blind dates organized by my parents, or by a drunken mistake...... I would probably end up single my whole life.... or share my life with someone whom I have no feeling for..... If you think you letting me go is a wise choice, I am jus telling you that you could have probably had ruined my whole life......
